We’ve all met a mommicorn, watched one from afar or seen one online, you may even be best friends with one. A mommicorn – not so rare but similar to the unicorn as they are pretend and don’t really exist.
What is a mommicorn you ask?
A mom that LOOKS like she’s got it all together. A mom with a matching outfit, stylish hair, a well-behaved child or 2. A mom running on time, cooking and baking for her family, giving parenting advice. A mom with zero dirty laundry, zero dust bunnies and zero cares in the world.
Us regular moms sit, watching the mommicorns in all their majesty, judging our own messy lives, wishing for their advertised togetherness.
If this is speaking to you in any way, first let me say, SNAP OUT OF IT. I ask you to repeat after me, Mommicorns do not exist. Mommicorns are simply a perception. Ok, maybe there is a real life mommicorn out there somewhere, but 99% of the time the mom that fits this mommicorn status is simply having a rare perfect moment (or 2) and may be posting about it.
A mommicorn out in the real world may look like shes planned out her fabulousness. “Wow,” you say, “she’s really got this whole life with kids thing figured out.” When in fact that same mom is running behind, today’s the first good hair day she’s had in a while, and she had to gift herself an hours worth of cleaning service for her birthday because neither her kids or husband ever help pick up their mess of a home.
Instagram (in fact, the online community in general) is a great example of a place where mommicorns run free. A place where mommicorns can post picture after picture of their best moments in the best lighting with the best caption and garner thousands of likes and “oh so cute” comments. The unseen reality behind all of those flawless photos is a mom who spends hours doing hair & make-up, setting up the shot, filtering through tons of pictures to find the perfect one, and second guessing her captions.
I want to be clear in that I don’t knock this said mommicorn game. May you mommicorn in peace – do you girl. In fact, we shouldn’t look down on a woman deciding to be perceived as a mommicorn because more than likely she is supporting her family as a momprenuer. I definitely encourage all momprenuers. Whatever your hustle (as long as its for the betterment and safety of your child/ren), may you be crazy successful and if that means being a professional mommicorn, you straight up can’t knock that.
If you can believe it, there are moments when ALL of us have been and will be a mommicorn. There will be moments when someone perceives that you have it all together and you are completely oblivious. Or maybe you sense when that moment is happening and you smile reaffirming to yourself, “I am a mommicorn”. 😏
I just hope to offer a less thought of approach to when you notice you are a mommicorn all day or in a few fleeting moments. In those moments and the ones where you are on the opposite end, instead of looking down or looking up in judgement of one another may you instead offer grace. Grace in that no, you are not perfect 100%, or even 50%, of the time. Grace for the mama who feels like she needs to pine for mommicorn status. And maybe grace for the mama (and women) community in hopes of striving to lift one another up no matter if they are having a mommicorn moment or not. When social media makes it so difficult to be happy with what you have and who you are why would anyone want to perpetuate that?
Instead, why not push to connect with each other over life’s messiest times? When you see a mama having trouble wrangling her kid/s at Target while pushing one of those big ace carts holding all of her family’s groceries, throw her a wave. When you see a mama wearing yoga pants, a sweatshirt with spit up on it, a mom bun and sunnies, throw her a wave. When you see a mama breastfeeding in public throw her a wave. When you see another mama post a real life, unedited picture on her feed, throw her a wave. When you see another mama in the realest moments of life, throw her a fricking wave! And when you see a mommicorn throw her a wave too.
The mama community is big and strong. Be a part of the pick up and not the put down – of other mamas or yourself.
Straight up sincerely,