Happy Tuesday! Is it the weekend yet?
Today I want to talk about finding your inner mama bear. I’m sure you’ve all heard the saying ‘mama bear’ and some of you may even wear the name proudly, but…have you really harnessed the true inner power of the mama bear? And do you remember to use it on the daily?
A quick google search of ‘mother bear’ turns up the expected headlines: “Mother Bear Fights Tiger to Save Her Cub!” & the Urban Dictionary definition is “used when you are going to do intense work.” If that’s not the understand of the year! 😝 So we know that mama bears are fierce, right? We know that they would go to the ends of the earth for anything to do with their cubs. So what about you, mama bear?
One of my first memories of Calla ( if you’re new here, she’s my 15 month old daughter) is of us leaving the hospital. The birthing process is a daunting one, at least I can say it was for me. My experience in particular had complications and I hope to one day share the story in full. I remember lots of sweet moments those first few days but this memory I’m thinking of in particular was more along the lines of stressful, disappointing, and educational.
It has been a little over a year since Calla’s birth. The final day we were SO ready to be out of the hospital and back in our home. The nurse had scheduled a pick-up for us to be escorted from the room to our car – or rather someone to wheel me and baby Calla from our room to just outside the hospital. The nurse was rude, straight up, and she made it seem like the work she did to schedule the pick-up was overwhelming and the process to have to reschedule would have caused a negative domino effect. In the real world, nah, she was just rude. Why? I have no. freaking. idea.
The tech? came and was ready to wheel me. Hospital policy was newborns needed to leave the room already placed in the car seat. Calla was very attached, as newborns are, and probably needed to be nursed as I had been having a procedure right before we were scheduled to leave and she hadn’t been able to eat during that time. On top of that newborns seem to hate car seats, and we couldn’t figure ours out! The straps were too tight, the seat was too short, etc. and as a new parent let’s be honest, I had no idea what I was doing! The same rude nurse stepped in, saying she knew what to do (looking back, she DID NOT!) and somehow managed to get Calla strapped in. Calla was screaming and I was so upset from a multitude of factors I also started crying. Everyone was trying to comfort the both of us but pushy nurse was showing us out as soon as she could. Calla eventually calmed down but I vividly remember her sitting in my lap, in the car seat, with her eyes wide and looking at the world seemingly and understandably scared. I wanted to comfort her but had no idea how in the moment. I can honestly say that I was dissapointed in myself as a mother right then.
Looking back, this memory still makes me sad but I’m not as harsh on myself about it. New parents are just that, NEW, and you deserve grace in learning and adapting to your new role. Calla bear knows that she’s loved and that moment does not define anything about our journey.
Since this incident I’ve had several situations arise that could have turned out similarly – an authoritative figure telling me they know best and trying to take control over a situation involving my child. I can gladly say the end results have been vastly different since that first experience.
Why am I bringing this up? & how does it connect with the mama bear? Well…I’ve heard from countless moms who have experienced this as well – being put into a position as a mom (big or small) & later on kicking themselves for not acting differently. What I say to those women is what I’ve had to say to myself: think about what happened, decide what you should/could have done differently, hug your baby and tell them you’ve got their back, harness that mama bear power and move on! What use is worry? There’s no reason to constantly stress over something in the past. How you react moving forward is what’s important. As a mother I’ve learned so much through experience. I’ve also learned that I have a motherly instinct and when I go against that or when I choose to ignore it, that’s typically when things don’t go as I’d hoped.
YOU are your kid’s Mother. YOU were made to protect them. YOU have their best interest at heart. Just because something has been done the exact same way for a million children doesn’t automatically mean it’s the right thing for you and your child. No one knows your baby like you do!
All of us have the inner mama bear strength. Everyday you must work towards listening to your instinct and harnessing your mama bear power. I think eventually, one day, you will be able to act as a mama bear automatically. Looking back, I wish I would have said, “STOP pushy nurse! Let me feed my baby. Who cares if we have to reschedule the pick-up. And husband! Please research better how to work this beeping carseat!” I have hugged Calla bear and told her I’ve got her back. I’ve learned from that experience (and many many more) & I’ve let those feelings of disappointment and regret go & I continue to work on doing a better job of listening to my gut.
One way I try to remember to be the best mama bear is through one of my favorite brands lovedbyhannahandeli. Not only are their shirts the most adorable, but they keep a reminder in the forefront when I’m wearing a shirt to be the mama bear my little bear deserves. I love the mission of this brand, lifting up and supporting mamas, because no one deserves it more.
This adorable matching set is made with 100% organic cotton!
Until next time mama bears…
Straight up sincerely,
*This blog post was in partnership with lovedbyhannahandeli. I was gifted these shirts. As always my opinion is honest and my own & should not be taken as professional advice.