Hey mama! Ya, you! How are you? Good? No, really…how are you?
I see you over there taking care of everyone under the sun. Husband, kids, dog, parents, in-laws just to name a few. All depending on you for physical, emotional, mental support. Maybe you even work outside the home so you have coworkers, customers, your boss and deadlines all leaning on you too.
I see you over there juggling to manage your home – being careful not to let any detail go unplanned. Husband’s job is stressful, maybe he travels a lot. Kids have SO. MANY. ACTIVITIES. You recently tried to Pinterest “meal prep without any prep”. Thank goodness they invented grocery delivery.
I see you over there running yourself ragged. When was the last time you ate? What about went to the bathroom? Showered? Left the house in something other than yoga pants? Got your haircut?
Needless to say, I know you’re tired. I know firsthand how tired a mama can really be. It’s exhausting being a mother, wife, daughter, sister, coworker, boss and trying to be the best at every single thing for everyone all day every day. I’m not sure how it’s happened exactly, but it seems like our role as women/mothers has defaulted to miracle-worker, juggler, go to gal for all things under the sun.
For example, the holiday season just ended and let’s be honest, that was like our Superbowl, am I right? Decorating the entire house, buying & wrapping ALL the gifts for everyone, cooking & baking the yummiest food on the planet (just to name a few) ON TOP of the normal responsibilities. Part of it, I think, is because we ourselves try to take on the world by choice. We want to be everyone’s everything. And they let us! Also as a woman, you experience constant barriers in regards to your abilities. In return we are constantly trying to prove Yes! We can! so that we can breakdown those barriers. Women empowerment is a whole post in and of itself but it explains at least partly why we might have this need to over commit ourselves on the regular.
And then comes the mom guilt. Lets say you take a step back from 1 or all of your “motherly duties”. Not only would your family probably have difficulty functioning, but you would feel guilty! Guilty that you took an hour to go to the gym, 15 mins to take a shower, heck! 8 hrs to work outside the home. It seems like no matter what you do or the reason behind it, the guilt comes with it. And why? Why is it that taking care of yourself in even the slightest way means disappointing someone else?
I’m sure for each individual the reasoning behind your mom guilt is different. But no matter the reason, it’s something you should consider making a commitment towards working through and over. In this new year why not commit to taking care of yourself more? Doesn’t that seem ridiculous that you would even have to make a resolution to take care of yourself? I think so! But you are more than likely so caught up in all of your responsibilities that you forget how neglected you’ve let yourself get.
This commitment could be as large or small as you need/want it to be. Maybe start off by taking 5 minutes to yourself every morning before you get out of bed to pray, meditate or just have some quiet time to prepare yourself for the day. Maybe you’re ready to commit yourself to taking a whole hour each week to leave the house and do something just for you! (Even if that means grocery shopping or running another family errand) Or maybe you’re finally ready to let go of that mom guilt completely! I truly believe that there can be a balance between spending every waking moment devoting yourself to others and taking some time to rejuvenate and acheive your goals whatever those may be.
So I know about now you’re thinking, “Ya ya ok I’ll take some time to myself…yea right!” Taking this leap mentally may be the most difficult part. Thinking through how you are overwhelmed and how you do need to figure out what you’re going to do before you crack can be exhausting in and of itself! For whatever reason, sometimes its easier to stay on the hamster wheel rather than make a conscious effort to change. Its hard to break routine. What I want you to know though is that it will be worth it! Once you are able to find something that helps you to feel recharged, you’ll never want to go back to your neglectful routine again! You may even get to see a glimmer of your pre-mom self.
If you need any more motivation to make this commitment to yourself in the New Year, think about how happy your child/ren and family will be to see and know that their mama is determined and goal driven! It’s said often, but that’s because it’s true, “you can’t do a great job taking care of others unless you’re doing a great job of taking care of yourself first!” Every day can be a fresh start to finding time to take care of yourself.
My wish for you all in this new year is many happy days & lots of time to rejuvenate. 💖
Straight up sincerely,